Happiness is not the end.

What is my mission? I am still exploring.
Are those dreams and missions of changing the world really what I should do?

I feel as if I am being punished.
This feeling of punishment comes from the torment inside me.
I clearly have a lot already. I clearly have already obtained what I once fought with all my strength to obtain, but I am still tormented by dissatisfaction, very tormented.

Is God punishing me?

But do I really have to go pursue plainness again?
Like in the past? No, that is not right.

What if I accept this punishment?
Accept the torment inside myself, instead of suppressing it.